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10 Tips for Raising Angry and Rebellious Kids
Overprotection – Always hover over them and never allow them to explore their world, express themselves, or become more independent.
Overprotection instills an angry spirit in them because they never learn to trust themselves, and they’ll get angry with you for never giving them that chance. Rather, gently encourage them to explore their environment. Gradually let the rope out a bit.
Play favorites – Favoring children and comparing them to each other, or other people’s children is a surefire way to provoke your children to rebellion, bitterness and anger because they will learn that they simply aren’t good enough for you. Your children are unique, so love them uniquely without regard for one over the other.
Unrealistic expectations – Placing unrealistic demands or putting too much pressure on your children to excel will crush them. This frustrates children because they never develop a sense of approval or accomplishment, and resent the parents who place those expectations on them. Nothing can deflate a child quite like the heavy burden of a parents unrealistic expectations.
Spoil them – Giving them everything they want and doing everything for them will cultivate in them unrealistic expectations of others that, when frustrated, leads to anger and maybe even violence. They grow up without a sense of accountability or responsibility, and blame everyone else for their problems. They’ll also be angry with you for not holding them to a standard that demonstrates strong love for them and care for their development.
Discouragement – You can discourage your children by failing to listen compassionately to them and failing to reward them for their good behavior. Listen with understanding, learn what they like and don’t like, what their hopes and dreams are. Listen to their motivations when they misbehave rather than act harshly in anger. Strive to understand your children. Reward them generously with love for their good deeds and give them your approval. Without these things children can feel defeated, which leads to anger and rebellion.
Never sacrifice for them – Making them feel like they are an intrusion into your life is a surefire way to provoke your kids to anger and rebellion. When children constantly feel like a bother and an inconvenience to their parents, they grow up to resent them and see their parents as uncaring, unloving, and self – centered. Show them that you love them by giving them your time.
Don’t allow them to grow up – Never allow them to make mistakes and condemn them when they do. Let them fail and show grace to them and give loving instruction when they do. Laugh it off and let them grow.
Neglect – Spend no time with them. Spend no time investing in their life to shape them and train them. A lack of consistent discipline and instruction is the worst kind of neglect because neglected and undisciplined children learn that their parents don’t care enough about them to invest in their life. So they become angry and hateful toward their parents.
Cut them down with words – Hurting your children with your words can tear down your kids to pieces. Yelling, cussing, mockery, name-calling, sarcasm, and ridiculing them will certainly cause them to be angry with you. Children will remember the words you use to communicate with them. So, use your words to encourage your children rather than to tear them down.
Physical abuse – an angry child is often a child that has been harshly punished by an angry and vengeful parent. Punishing children in the throes of anger and rage will provoke children to anger. It will cause them to internalize that same angry and vengeful attitude that you use to discipline them with. Harshly punished children are angry children who grow up to be selfish, self-protective, hostile, and aggressive with the rest of the world.
*Information for this article was obtained and modified from “Successful Christian Parenting” by John MacArthur. Link for the YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvUPOkMoLmo&t=571s 5:40 – 15:45
Tips for improving your relationship with your parents
Take responsibility: it is very easy to avoid guilt by blaming others for the problems in your family, but learning to take responsibility for your role in the family can help you avoid many conflicts with your parents. It is one of the most challenging things to do, but one of the best if you want to improve things with your parents.
Spend time with them: your parents may not be the coolest people on planet earth, but they certainly are among the most important. Setting aside time to spend with them doing something you all find enjoyable can help strengthen the bond you all share with each other.
Tell them that you love them: Parents love to hear these words from their children. Try and be intentional with saying “I love you” to your parents a few times a day. It takes little effort and produces a ton of positive results.
Accept their correction: Parents usually don’t correct their children because of some weird power trip (although some do). Parents offer correction because they love their kids. So the next time mom or dad corrects your behavior try not to see it as them being harsh or unloving, but see it as an expression of their love for you. Accept it and grow from it.
Build trust through honesty: One of the main reasons that people lie is to get out of trouble. No doubt you’ve been tempted to lie to escape consequences, but when you do this you damage the trust your parents have in you. Telling the truth, as embarrassing as it can be, tells your parents that you love them. Maybe next time you get busted for something, own up to it and see how your parents respond.
Have an inside joke: having something funny that only you and your parents understand can help grow a strong bond because it is something unique to your relationship. Maybe you quote a line from a funny movie you watched with them or have a silly word that only you and your parents know the meaning. Consider having an inside joke with your parents to boost your relationship.
Listen to them: many times it can feel like whenever your parents talk to you it turns into a lecture, and the last thing you want is to be told what to do. But consider the fact that your parents have your good in mind, so it wouldn’t hurt to hear them out.
Communicate with them: one of the best things you can do to improve your relationship with your parents is talk to them. If something they did upset you, talk to them. If they did something nice for you, thank them. You think the rules are unfair? Bring your concerns to them. If you keep a calm and respectful tone you might be surprised at the results.
*Information for this article was obtained and modified from https://www.thehopeline.com/how-to-get-along-with-parents-2/
8 Tips for a Stronger Relationship with Your Kids
Tell them you love them often – children love to hear that their parents love them, especially when they mess up. Make it a point to tell your kids “I love you” throughout the day. It’s a simple way to show your kids that they are important to you. Try it today!
Show your love – children respond positively when their parents show affection through gentle touch like hugs, high fives, and kisses. Be sure to communicate your love to your child with a loving touch!
Discipline your kids – develop consistent and fair boundaries with reasonable consequences to communicate to your children that you care a great deal for their social-emotional development. A home with consistent discipline creates an atmosphere of peace and respect between parent and child. Punitive discipline usually creates angry children, but fair discipline creates healthy kids.
Listen to your kids – Your children will learn that you love them dearly if you compassionately listen to their cares, concerns, hopes, dreams, and goals. By listening, you’re inviting your children to share the most vulnerable parts of themselves with you, and what a great way to create an intimate bond with them by welcoming them by lending a listening ear!
Play together – this is just a fun way for you to build a relationship with your child. If you’re the parent of a teen, consistently doing something with them that they enjoy!
Be available and distraction free – be willing to give of your time to your child when they need you. This will show your child that they are accepted and valued by you, and will do wonders for your relationship together. Put that phone down and be there for your kid when they need you!
Eat meals together – although it may not always be doable, try and be consistent with eating meals with your kids. This creates an environment that encourages great discussion and bonding opportunities between you and your kid.
Make your own routines – be intentional in spending some focused time with your kids by scheduling “dates” with your kids. This could look like walking in the park, watching a movie at home, or playing board games.
*Information for this article was obtained and modified from https://www.familyservicesnew.org/news/8-ways-to-strengthen-a-parent-child-relationship/
